PERSPECTIVE

Hey Fam!

I haven't been on here in a while for a variety of reasons. I've genuinely been busy and then there's always the debate...do I bother sharing when it's a bad day..or bad days..and then there's just needing a break, so I check (d) for all of the above!

In catching up on the blog, I was both tickled and humbled by Monique and Bea's most recent posts, as they certainly put things in perspective...something I think can be easily lost in an experience as intense as this. Like Bea, I've complained (mostly to myself) about the "lack" of progress I've made. I want a muscle here, a pound lost there...it's always something, right??? I've worked harder than I ever have and with Dre's help, have accomplished something in four months I haven't been able to do in the last 10 years!!! But it nags at you not to be where you're "supposed" to be..and since when did dropping two dress sizes become something to bitch about, anyway? I can wear clothes I'd hidden in the tomb of my closet for the occasional glance of reverence and moment of silence...

Sure, I've been the subject of jokes--"droopy drawers", folks at work leaving bags of chips and Popeye's coupons on my desk, and I've definitely struggled with feeling good about my new body and secretly fearing that, 4 months from now, I'd become one of those chicks who goes out and is afraid to eat anything or pretends she "just ate" ALL the time (yall know the type)...so as to avoid the risk of that one pound Mo was talking about...

And so I think I've been in a troubling little limbo of "the blues" for a while now because of all the mixed emotions. To get through this, you're physically, mentally and emotionally on auto-pilot. Many of us do this at work, meetings, etc. but it's a hell of a thing to have to do it any hour in between! It IS indeed a necessary evil to push personal events aside because you have to "go to the gym" and I think I've started to worry about the impact that avoidance would have on me when I'm done...

And then, last week I got troubling news which threatened to push me over the edge but I only got to the brink. Instead of breaking me, the news motivated me to take a step back and put this thing in perspective!! Although I'm confident my physical fitness will serve me well, in an odd way I'm pretty sure I have this training to thank for the mental toughness to push through the next storm!! And although it's been an incredibly rocky start to 2011, I still feel good about the year! I hope you do too! We can accomplish ANY goal we set for ourselves.